Either you’re taking uppers 24/7, or sometimes you just feel anxious around people. True story.

Long ago, there were rumors of phone services created to save damsels from situations of social distress.
I searched that rainbow and finally hit the gold: getmooh.com, or Get Me Out of Here.

Illustration from getmooh.com

The site allows you to schedule your phone number with a time to get you out of an unpleasant circumstance, with your choice of savior-recording.

One of the recordings is Alec Baldwin. Another is your drug dealer. It all makes sense.